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Heard the next aisle over, child had to be between five and seven based on voice...

"Mommy, I love you..."
(pause)
"...But sometimes I hate you."

Mom, all earnestness, the tone mothers take when they spend time taking their children too seriously...

"Do you hate me right now?"

No, your child is savily ruminating on the dialectics of love, sketching a wee treatise on the philisophical ramifications of the mother-daughter bond.

Why do I think it's because Mommy thought baby was too young for Gossip Girl or Rainbow Party books? At least the tot wasn't wailing mightily over the Wiggles puzzle set while Mommy was too self-absorbed to remove the kid from the store, thereby refusing to spare everyone else's eardrums. That only happens a gagillion times a day.

Worse, is this the type of malevolent child who will threaten suicide at thirteen if she doesn't get a Mercedes?

(Other bookstore bit: A woman bought a Miles Davis best of, the Jay-Z Linkin Park mashup and a magazine on redesigning kitchens. Somehow this forms an unholy trinity for me. I picture her listening to both CDs at once, while tearing down cabinets.

Finally: Please don't buy best ofs. They're proof that you don't really care. Miles Davis may not be my cuppa, but he wouldn't want you buying his best ofs. Best ofs are only cool when the artist is so obscure that they don't deserve a best of. Then completists should get them for the b-sides.)
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readingthedark

May 2009

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