readingthedark: (Default)
It is most enjoyable to talk with you.
(When you bother to listen and aren't being a monologuist.)

You have the rare ability to recognize ability in others.
(When you bother to look and aren't being solipsistic.)

It is better to deal with problems before they arise.
(Unlike aroused genitalia, where it is better to be patient, especially as you reach middle age.)

Keep true to the dreams of your youth.
(When you were a kid, you were dumb enough to dream the truly impossible...)

Your dreams are never silly; depend on them to guide you.
(And you will always get lost and spend time crying in corners, which is never silly.)

Rest is a good thing, but boredom is its brother.
(Not my brother. My brother is very exciting. PS -- What is rest? Is it one of those other fake concepts like sleep?)

Your greatest fortune is the large number of friends you have.
(You will be wealthy when you sell them on eBay.)

Your blessing is no more than being safe and sound for the whole lifetime.
(BWA HA HA HA HA BWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!)

All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly.
(...when you die a sudden, soon and painful death.)

Don’t pass up a once-in-a-lifetime offer.
(Without reading the warranty. How can you tell when a first offer is the only offer? You start to haggle and then they tell you to sod off. No, seriously. It happens all the time.)

To effect the quality of the day is no small achievement.
(Yet fairies and leprechauns are small and able to disrupt days almost as regularly as demons.)

Emotion hinders your true self.
(But emotion is all I am, just like a Maroon 5 song. Except that my emotions are bathos, pain and darkness.)

You’ll inherit a great wealth from an unknown person.
(When you will kill them and rob them, in bed.)

Keep your face to the sunshine and you will never see the shadows.
(But the skin cancer will suck a lot.)

One must know that there is a path at the end of the road.
(Robert Frost used to beat his daughters with a stick. Read Birches with that in mind and it will freak you out.)

You have a curious smile and a mysterious nature.
(Because you are clueless and you don't know who you are.)

Your ingenuity and imagination will get results.
(Horrible results. Results which will ruin your life and shatter those around you.)

When you speak honestly and openly, others truly listen to you.
(And hate you for it forever. Especially when they are plotting to kill you and take your money, in bed.)

...

and thank you very much to YBF&H for the honorable mention of my story "Release the Bats" from the cool people at Rabid Transit. It's my first one and it feels snazzy.

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readingthedark

May 2009

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