readingthedark: (Default)
I eavesdrop a lot. Once again, in line for coffee. (The holidays are upon me... It is December in my world...)

Coffee cashier:

"Would you like your cookie warmed?"

Gray-haired woman who looked like Florence Henderson would look is she obsessed over Stella Mccartney fashion but couldn't quite afford it so overdid a bit on the earrings:

"I used to."
readingthedark: (Default)
Sunday Night.
Almost Completely Empty Italian Place in Suburban Boston.
World Series on the TV in the distance.

Four women sitting together a few tables away.

Three are Presets. They are bland and too predictable to bother describing.

The other one looks like a high-mileage version of Katheryn Winnick (an obscure but talented actress who could pass as Scarlet Johansson's sluttier older cousin) and, even though she has a baby in a stroller with her, she's probably the only of the four women who hits the gym regularly.

The national anthem starts.

"Who sings the national anthem?" asks one of the three presets.

Fake slurring, like the drinking game where you shout the band name and everyone else has to drink, the Katheryn-esque one shouts, "Radiohead!"

(This is quite good because Radiohead has a song called "The National Anthem." None of the Presets get it.)

"That's Carrie Underwood," says Preset Number One.
"I think it's Jessica Simpson," says Preset Two.
"It might be someone named Patricia Yearwood," says Three.

(Three tries and they sort of got it right. It was like the three each had a part of a brain and together they could fake one working one.)

The beautiful yet hard miles one who isn't like them at all (and oh how I wonder what she was doing wasting her time with them!) finally takes a quick look at the screen and says, in flawless deadpan, "That's Ice Cube."

-----

Note to everyone in the world: if you're that brilliant with your sarcasm and no one notices, please find new friends. If your sarcasm is that good, please don't waste it on Presets.

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readingthedark

May 2009

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